11.11.2015

A Collection Of Blogspot Essays By A Very Real Sixth Grader

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Originally written in the spring of 2005. By a very real sixth grader.

Introductory Essay: Hello People

I have decided to make a blog… and in this blog i will write subjects and stuff so uhh enjoy and dont take yourself to seriously

Essay #1: Why do People love to call people gay? (Answers!!!!) 

(Omitted.)

Essay #2: Fashion Police = Hasbeens

Ok one thing that sickens me are people who judge people on what they where. So your sitting in stud hall and all of a sudden a homo comes from nowhere and your minding your own buisness and they are like hey your shirt or pants etc. sucks and get some new cloths…. WTF? Fashion police are people who think that their opinions on fashion are much better than the person there insulting… i mean theres no point Its not like they’re gonna go buy a new shirt every time they get insulted… unless they have so low self esteem that they will chop their lettuce if they tell them to. Heck do those homos think that putting someone down for no reason what so ever is gonna make them prettier? HELL NO people will eventually hate you and then you’ll be the one everybody insults cuz your parents gave you up for some illegal immigrant that behaves and has manners. Seriously why bother the point is FASHION POLICE ARE COMMUNIST. It is entirely true they tell them what to do and what to wear… what the heck, If your bored why don’t you compliment instead of insult? make a friend then make a person cry … geez why can’t we get along. Fashion police thinks its the end of the world when they are insulted.. i suggest we insult them and say hey there ugly and then walk by and maybe…just maybe they’ll learn what a cold world this is and realize the temperature…. come on where is the love??

Essay #3: DDR Great or plain awful?

Dance dance revolution in my opinion is one of the craziest games ever made. Heck I don’t think its even classified as dancing. People all over the world play this messed up game. You see people in arcades spending hours stepping on buttons while they could really be dancing..

Essay #4: I AM NOT DEAD ALERT!!!

Hello moochers please do not get all mad at me for not updating… I am a very busy man…This has been a good month so far tulip time is tommorow in case your wondering where I’ll be in this catastrophic event i will be casually walking the streets and if you encounter me I will be forced to engage in a very long conversation. Well goodbye for now have a nice and fatalityless tulip time … weep on moochetes

Essay #5: Point and laugh at people in sixth grade.

Recently there has been alot of weird things going on in the sixth grade… first of all I can’t stress enough of how people abduct people. Yesterday me and Dylan saw that two kids… ryan( dont know last name) and cory theriot abducted will and literlally raped him in the bathroom. I saw the sad face o Will and askd ryan why he was harrassing him… he replied,” Uhh we’re just fooling around,” aww give me a break that was first degree sexual harrassment example.. pinned down arms while rubbing stomach against will… just plain wrong. Also a trend of dating swept through the sixth grade again! I see people that are sort of obese going out with very intellegint people *cough* brittany *cough*, Maybe i should take advantage and get some action eh? Also i asked a specific sixth grader stuff about his life and this is really taken from a person named Zach W. a (trying to be) skater punk

Anonymous: So ~~~~ I will ask you random questions about skateboarding that you might answer

Anonymous: What skate shoooos is better… Adio or D.C

ZW: D.C cuz its more flatter on the bottom and u get more grip outta it (blah blah etc.)

Anonymous: okay do you think Lizzi mcguire is a good show cuz i do ( *wink* *wink*

ZW: hehe yea its funny and its entertaining.

Anonymous: So its like a kids sitcom?

ZW: ?????

Anonymous:… nevermind

Anonymous: okay zach tell me about your skateboard design and brands

ZW: well i got element grip tape and Flip for the deck and flip trucks

Anonymous: what are trucks

ZW: oh you know the thingies on the bottom that hold the wheels to the deck ( then going into practically hours of debating with dylan why they have truck designs if you can’t see it)

Anonymous: uhh zach where do you get skate shooooooooooz

ZW: oh the jordan creek mall hehe theyve got all these awesome skate shoes and i got these d.cs

Ok so zach obviously does not realize i am just wasting his time haha i laugh and dance in his face

And also there is a strange indian kid named kabir ( ka beer) that i engaged in hilarious conversations heres one 3/06/05 in the Lunch just to annoy him cuz he liez and steals so much from me and my colleagues Anonymous > Kabir Good night 😀

Anonymous: Ehhhhbeeee

Kabir: what do you want?

Anonymous: is it true that you flirt with every single girl in your class?

Kabir: NO I DONT!!! (breathes fire and kills everyone)

Anonymous: cuz i have seen you flirt with some girls and you seem really happy and enthusiastic.

Kabir: …..

Anonymous: sooo i heard you like jessica andrews

Kabir: No i dont!

Anonymous: well then why did you claim to another girl that you called jessica andrews and talked

Kabir: no i didnt

Anonymous: oh yea i heard from one of your unreliable friends

Kabir: !! gosh im gonna beat him up!!

Anonymous: how did u find jessicas phone number?

Kabir finally gives in and spills the freaking beans after seeing no point in arguing with a professional arguer.

Kabir: …she called me and gave it to me

Anonymous: uh huh… kabir why did you use the phone book to find jessicas phone number

Kabir: thats impossible theres 8 andrews in the phone book

Anonymous: how would you know there are 8 andrews in the phone book

Kabir: Shut up i checked the number to see if it was right after jessica called me

Anonymous: kabir lieing is bad

Kabir: Ill prove it to you

So i go and coincidence jessica is in the a la carte line and i engage with a conversation

Anonymous: is it true that you called Kabir?

Jessica: *turns red* nooo…..

Anonymous: *shouting to kabir* haha you suck kabir

Kabir: drop dead

Anonymous: kabir so admit she didnt call you

Kabir: grr shut up

Anonymous: oh really?

Kabir: I will tell on you?

Anonymous: haha bad idea after you stole those wristbands from travis and me and lying that you had a cousin in florida when you moved here just a while ago.

Kabir: how would you knwo then?

Anonymous: Because i can tell liez smart one

Kabir: *threatens to beat me up*

Ok if you don’t believe me ask Kabir or dylan richardson i swear on my batteries graves this is true… if you dont believe me, fine but this proves that some sixth graders are 200% retarded

Essay #6: Lunch ladies suck

Ok so you accidently forget your lunch card or lose it at home… you try to explain to the lunch ladies that you know the number of your lunchcard and is quick to punch in… you would think that was easy but NO the lunch ladies tell you ”GO TO THE BACK OF THE LINE!!!” so I’m thinking holy crap some people with ruined lunch cards even get to go first cuz the lunch ladies can punch in there number while looking at the broken lunch card. First all the people without lunch cards should be able to write the number on a piece of paper and use it as a lunch card. I see all these people suffer from no lunch card. That is predjudice against no lunch carders. And they also charge 3.00$ for a new lunch card… WTF thats way too much for a laminated piece of junk. I say we all forget our lunch cards and piss the lunch ladies off. And ala carte is even freaking worse.. they make you have to sit down for a long time and the shout at you” shut up” or ”zip it or no ala carte!!” who do those lunch ladies think there messing with? Without ala carte there paychecks are gonna be 0.00$ so the next time a lunch lady says nope no lunch card no food or stfu to you then boycott lunch. And once i boycotted and a teachers like hey no recess without lunch.. so i freak out and say but im not hungry… she’s practically forcing us to waste our money on food we don’t want. Screw the lunch i say we go home and enjoy a nice relaxing lunch with no freaking lunch ladies…..

Anonymous is anonymous.